Courage part III

 
So last plan of action was this….just observe. Do not do anything differently but observe how many times you say "I'm fine" when you are not, when you agree to do something you do not want to do, when asked to make a choice you say "whatever you want is fine". Observe this without judgment, just notice.  Make a note of each time this happens.  At the end of the day or as it occurs jot down the emotions that you feel about your dishonesty to yourself.  Are you treating yourself with the respect that you show others?    Write down your emotional and physical reactions.  Do you feel tense, have a headache or is your stomach upset?  Do you feel good about yourself or do you wish you had been honest?
 
How did this exercise go?  

Were you able to be truthful in recording your emotional and physical reactions to not telling your whole heart?   Did turn out like you expected?  Were you able to really see some of the ways that this is affecting you emotionally and physically?  This exercise was to help you to see what your actions are creating for you.  Uncomfortable feelings, living life as others want you to not as you want to.   Can you take a look at your notations and assign emotions to them?  Sometimes we feel sad, angry, anxious, afraid, like a push over, out of control etc.  Please share some of the things that you noticed. 
 
Real life example

Let me share an experience that just happened while I was typing this in which I did use emotional honesty.  A co-worker suggested that we have an “office cleaning day” to organize, clean etc.  My first thought was no thank you.  She is right however it does need to be done.  We are a mental health co-op so no one person is responsible.  I thought for a few minutes and told her this.  It is 100% true.  I agreed to do it but shared that I could not promise to bring enthusiasm.    Due to trying to sell my home, I am cleaning it every day, every day!!!  So while I will participate in the office cleaning, I will not be super excited but will not complain either…tell me what to do and I’ll do it.  I could have said, “hey great idea, I’d love to help.”  But that is not true or emotionally honest.   What a great impromptu example to be able to use.
 
Take away tip- achieving emotional honesty and living with courage.    Create a list of those around you Assess your relationships with who you have in your live now.   Write down all of the people you have regular interactions with.  Include family members, friend, neighbors, co-workers, members of your church if you attend, etc.  List everyone whether you consider them supportive or now.  Now check those who you consider supportive in general (you could ask them to do you a favor, you could talk over a problem with this person, now put 2 checks next to those who directly support you fully (there when you need them, they reach out to you as well as you reaching out to them, they know what you need in a support system and how to give it to you. Cross out the names who are unsupportive and put a question by those you are not sure about.   We will work more with that list next time!
 
love and light
Jamie