Creating a Sacred Container

Welcome- we came together last time to define mindfulness meditation as the beginning of our meditation journey.  We used the definiton from Jon Kabat-Zinn as being present, being aware without judging what is. I am working on creating a meditaion 101 course which will be a 6 or 8 week challenge online or in person for those who live close by and will keep you posted on that.

I stated last blog that we would discuss creating a sacred container.  What does that mean?  Simply put it means that when we come together or you come to practice by yourself that you take the time to perform a ritual of connectedness and acceptance. Whether I am leading group or guided meditaion or teaching midfulness I am going to start implementing something that I do for myself when I practice and that I am now ready to share with you all.  

I mentioned earlier that finding a place to be, to sit, to lay down- any place that is yours is an amazing introduction to a practice.  I get that we don't always have a room to ourself or a beautiful gazebo by the lake but we can find a place that we can make our own.  This can be a corner of a room, I love cozy corners, it could be a small area of your bedroom, perhaps a guest room or some space in the living or dining room.  Sometimes an area outside is good, a deck, a tree, a porch or any place that you feel safe.  We will discuss in another post how to find unusual ways and places to meditate which is what we have to do at times to get it in.  

If you are struggling to locate a sacred space I invite you to think back to a time when you felt loved and safe, content and happy.  Where were you?  What was around you?   Try to recall some of what the space looked like, colors or patterns, was it inside or outside.  Can you recall a specific odor or scent?  We often had a sacred space as a child that we used when we needed to be alone or were frightened or sometimes just needed an escape from a sibling.  Think about that, it may be very simple, I remember sitting on my steps in a home I grew up in.  I remember everything about the steps, the hall, the linen closet in the hall, the view of the front door etc.  For whatever reason I found safety and contentness sitting on the floor on those steps or in the hall.  

Once you have found your space try creating a ritual that you use everytime you come into sit or meditate or just be mindful.  In this space find some self awareness, use only self compassion.   I want this to be a ritual of connectedness and acceptance.  Create whatever works for you.  Light a candle, diffuse some oils, place a vase of fresh flowers on the table or ground.  Create positive affirmations for the space to hang up so that you read them when you step in. Start of a habit of removing your shoes to respect the space that you are creating.  When you find your ritual perform it everytime you step into your space, make a statement of gratitude for yourself and your ablity to be here and now and be present.

Take away tip- find and create your sacred space and ritual and share with me in the comments

love and light,

jamie

Mindful Meditation

Greetings my friend, I am so glad you are here.  We started talking a bit about a meditation challenge that will be coming up soon.  I will be guiding a challenge online FREE of charge this time only and plan to lead a face to face journey in my community.  For those of you not around here this entire journey can be taken from the comfort of your own home or office. Look for more to come on that later. 

I mentioned that I want us to explore some unique ways that I find to meditate at times.  As I said last time it is my truth that anywhere you are you can access an ability to be mindful and get in a few minutes of mindful meditation.  Then there are the different types of mediations that we will discuss as well.  

First, let's chat about last weeks take away tips.  Anyone try these?  I did, despite the fact that I have been practicing for a long time, it is still a practice and it helps me to go back to the basics at times.  It is all basics really because it is all about being present, being aware of your internal and external enviornment without judging it.  This week I used laundry as my mindful activity.  We all have dirty laundry, right?  I don't just love doing it and my guess is you don't either.  However, if we use mindfulness you  will find that everyday "chores" have more to offer than you think.  A few of the take aways from my mindful laundry include the following;  clean laundry smells so good, fresh and delighfully scented from the detergent, it is warm and a delight for your sense of touch fresh out of the dyer, taking the time to feel the materials, sort the piles and fold, hang and put away is really not all that bad.  In this participating in this activity guess what else happened?  I was present, alive and living in the moment.    If I had not used mindfulness then I would have lost moments of my life that I could never get back but I didn't just exist, I lived and what a joy.  Did you try the take away tips?  Please share your experiences and let me know what you think.

So some types of meditaion that we will be talking about are mindful meditation, mantra meditation, sound meditation, walking meditation, moving mediation and then a few of the things that I have made meditative in my own journey.  First and foremost to address is this...you can't do it wrong...period...no one has ever meditated wrong.  This is a non judgement allowed area.  You will not sit down and your mind and magically have your thoughts, worries, fears or everyday thoughts just go away.  That is ok, it is safe to say that no matter how long you meditate or study mindfulness and breathing practices your thoughts will NEVER just go away.  Nope, we just learn to become aware without judgment and without getting stuck. 

Let's chat mindful meditaiton this blog post or at least touch on it as it is an ever evolving practice.  You will find that the definition of mindfulness, meditation and such will become your own when you find your groove of the mindful living.  This is perfect, this is what I want.   However, for the sake of consistency in starting let's define mindfulness the way that Jon Kabat Zinn (MBSR) does 

It is the intention to pay attention to each and every moment of our life, non-judgmentally. While there are many possible definitions, the key aspects of any definition of mindfulness involve purposeful action, focused attention, grounded in the current experience, and held with a sense of curiosity. The Center for Mindfulness believes that we all have the capacity for mindfulness.  Please see link at the bottom of the page.

Let's look at that last line again.  The Center for Mindfulness believes that we all have the capacity for mindfulness. I believe this too, I beleve we can all do this and we can all benefit from it.  There is so much research to support this and more being done all the time.  This means, YES, YOU CAN DO IT.

What is mindful meditation?

mindfulness meditation,
a technique of meditation in which distracting thoughts and feelings are not ignored but are rather acknowledged and observed nonjudgmentally as they arise to create a detachment from them and gain insight and awareness.
Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.
 

A technique in which we simply sit with and observe our thoughts and feelings, we ackowledge them and send them on there way.  You are not your feelings or emotions, you are not your thoughts; these are all just a part of the experience.  You are the experience!  You have thoughts, emotions and feelings but they are NOT you.  If I had to choose a favorite part of mindfulness and mindful meditation is is the nonjudgment.  We will learn to detach from having to label things as good or bad and learn to just observe.  

Next blog we will talk creating your sacred space in which to meditate (and it can be found in so many different places).

Take away tip- Create your own definition inclusive of your thoughts and feelings about the above definition and talk to someone about mindfulness or mindful meditation.  Ask people what they know about it, ask if they are interested in learning more and if they are send them my way.  Let them know you are learing about it and they can too *

*This is, in part, a shameless way to start achieving my 2015 goal of spreading mindfuless everywhere.  What?  Did you think I could do that all myself?  No way, we have to do this together.  More soon and please leave me comments.

love and light,

Jamie

Meditation 101

When it came to searching Google for finding how-to instructions, central Arkansas users wanted to know above all how to meditate. Then they wanted to know how to twerk. Meditating is my specialty!!! Twerking not so much!   I read this and promised some blogs with the how-to on meditating so here we go.

Coming soon- Mindfulness Meditation 6 week Challenge 

Purpose: 
Increases stress management 
Increases self awareness 
Increases ability to access inner wisdom/intuition 

Cautions: 
May provoke strong emotions 
May cause anxiety 

What is included: 
Guided meditation Worksheets 
Online “check in” location to visit with other participants. 
Regular input from me, Mindful living expert

This entire journey can be taken from the comfort of your own home or office.  You can meditate anywhere and I want us to explore some unique ways that I find to meditate at times.  It is my truth that anywhere you are you can access an ability to be mindful and get in a few minutes of mindful meditation.  If you decide to take this journey I have worksheets can be emailed to you. This is a journey that has the potential to change your life. I recommend 5-6 days a week for 6-8 weeks to get into a regular practice. However, if you can start with 1 day week for 5 minutes go for it.  A willingness to try is all you need.  

It is best to arrange a regular time and place to practice where you will not be disturbed. This is not always possible so we will talk about how to work around this.  Be aware that at times you may not like the practice, you may feel you are doing it wrong (you aren't- it can't be wrong)!  Often when we feel the most resistant to doing something are the times it is most important. Mindfulness practice is a discipline which can support, comfort and improve wellbeing if you make it a part of your life. It is proven to change your physical body (check out the link at the bottom of the page).   Just like anything you will get out of it what you put into it. It is all about becoming aware, becoming mindful, accepting what is. Feel what you are feeling. You don’t have to like it…just feel it! 

Before we delve into a mediation challenge let me give you a few take away tips to start the mindful process.  

Take away tip 1 everyday this week take an activity that you have to do that you are not especially fond of.  Let's use washing dishes.  This week do it mindfully  Think about what you are going to do.  Feel how the water feels on your hands, the sound of the water, notice the smoothness of the glass plates, smell the soap and really breathe it in.  Take one dish at a time, look at it, notice the colors and the patterns, watch the dish go from dirty to clean as you wash, be aware of the way the water rolls off the plate or glass, watch the water drip as you dry the dish.  Instead of "having to do the dishes" be grateful for the time to take to notice all the little things that you miss out of by hurrying through it normally.  Embrace the tradition of washing the dishes, take the time to notice the progress you made and how your sink went from full to empty  and how you took the time to notice the feelings.

Take away tip 2- set an alarm on your phone twice a day and when it goes off take a break from what you are doing.  Breathe deeply and slowly, in through your nose and out through your nose.  Inhale to the count of five and exhale to the count of five, pay as much attention to the exhale as the inhale.  Do this for at least 5 long breaths and slowly increase throughout the week. 

love and light

Jamie

Let's talk evidence

Hello again!  Thanks for coming back.  I hope that you are reading and following along and creating your own journey of mindfulness.  There is something that occurs to me that I want to share.  I have mentioned a few times recording results of an exercise in a journal or recording thoughts feelings but looking back I wish I had emphasized it more.  Luckily, it is only ten or so days into the "year of more" which is how I refer to 2015 so its not too late.  I want to take this time to encourage you to get a journal, a notebook, some paper, some napkins anything that you can write on!  If you are just beginning to use mindfulness or if you are strengthening your practice keep up with it.  There is no doubt that this concept has changed my life but how cool it would be if I had kept a written record of it?  You can....you can record your feelings, your emotions, how you think about things.  You can record the exercises or take away tips that I give and your response to them and really take a look at patterns, what resonates with you and see a written record of your life changing.  I encourage you to do this, I think you will be glad you did!

So, lets talk proof.  In therapy it is not unusual for the therapist to ask the client to try new things in his or her life.  It goes along with the whole "if you don't make changes nothing changes" idea. Some clients will not questions why a therapist chooses the techniques that they do but many will.  I like to back up what I ask clients in therapy or coaching to do with proof that it works.  This  is way better than me just saying "hey I like this so you should to".  These concepts, this mindful lifestyle is proven scientifically to work!  It rewires your brain, it increases gray matter, it makes positive physical changes in your brain and body.  It is my practice to attempt to keep up with the most current studies and I tend to choose those that are tied to what I am working on in my life, my career or with clients.  

As a part of the year of more I am creating and going to work on bringing mindful programs to businesses, corporations and schools.  This kills several birds with one stone.  I share what I am passionate about, I teach skills that I feel are vital and the mental wellbeing and productivity of employees is increased and this makes everyone at the company happy.  A biggie for me in this endeavor is that then those people who experience the positive change will share it with others who will share it with others and so forth and this achieves a portion of of my goal of MORE and spreading mindfulness as far and wide as possible.  Let's face it , I didn't invent the wheel, this is not just me working on this so thankfully it is easy for me to find research to back up what I want to do. At the bottom of the page I am going to insert a link to a very interesting article of bringing mindfulness into the workplace.  Enjoy and share with others to keep the momentum going :).

Take away tip-

1-read this article and talk to at least 3 people about it and record their thoughts as well as yours.  Please come back and share what people say and what you think.

2- Consider if you feel like this would benefit the wellbeing of your place or work or school and in what way could I help you implement that?

3- Buy a journal or notebook and write your book of the "year of more".

love and light

Jamie

Tea instead of coffee

Good morning- very impromptu blog post here.   To give you a visual I am in Arkansas, it is cold and rainy, more drizzle than rain but very cloudy and no sun peeking through yet.  I am a coffee shop waiting on a friend to chat with about business and probably some catching up as well.

I got here early as I get up and around early.  Normally I would order a coffee.  I adore coffee, I have my pot ready when I wake up and I used to (till about 6 months ago) drink the entire pot by myself and then have more coffee later.  As I study and embrace a mindful lifestyle I think more about what I put into my body.  It matters- my body is my temple- my home for my soul and it is up to me to take care of it.  Trust me when I say this is not what I have always done.  My poor temple has been abused by me, the one person who should cherish it the most.  My journey in life is leading me to think more, be mindful and aware of what I see, what I do and how I treat myself.  This improved treatment of myself must be body/mind/spirit.  

So when I arrived here with the smell of coffee and yumminess in the air I thought about it.  It's after 8:00 am so I have had coffee and I think why have more?  I slept well, I am not in need of more caffeine and I have been exploring teas and loving how it feels like a warm hug for my body when I have tea instead of coffee.  I chose tea.  I am having a yummy citrus mint blend and it smells heavenly.  The aroma of coffee is still in the air and yet I am content to sip my tea as I wait.  This small change in my thoughts and my life will lead to more and more choices and thoughts and chances to be aware like this.  I am content and that feels so good.

love and light

Jamie

Creating a life album of snapshot moments

Mindfulness or the state of being aware, being present, being here and now.  It is a state of noticing without judging how you feel, what you see, what you hear and just the simplicity or definition of the moment.  In theory, this practice does not sound difficult, in practice it can be very difficult.  This is the very reason it is called a mindfulness practice....we must continually practice.  In our lives we do not remember entire days, entire weeks, months or years, we remember moments.  Moments or snapshots in time of events or a beautiful scene or a feeling that was strong enough to cause us to pay attention to it.  One of the delightful things I have found in practicing mindfulness is that it causes me to remember more of my life and life events because I am actually present for them, I notice, I pay attention, I record the memory to recall later.  

Interesting personal story- I have an amazing friend that I met in college way more years ago than I will admit to!  At that point in my life I had never heard of the concept of mindfulness and I am pretty certain she had not either.  However, despite not being aware of the concept and practice of it she had a practice of her own  that when I look back on was mindfulness.  My friends and I could be doing anything- just random daily events of college and she would say to us "let's stop and remember the moment".  I remember more moments from college from that - the prompt to stop, pay attention and take a mental picture than the other events that happened.  Years and years later when I would discover the mindful craze I immediately thought of my dear friend Amy Walker.  

This being present takes work but is so worth the effort and becomes easier the more it is practiced.  I fully believe that it is a practice that is worth the effort, it was life changing for me.  I create programs around learning and implementing mindfulness into my own daily life.  I also create programs and try to help others to implement it into their daily lives. I talk about it, I sneak it in conversations and I have people do mindful exercises often without expressing others what it is.  I get around eventually to sharing and defining it for them but what I want is to spread this idea to any and everyone anyway I can.   Here is a secret technique I use (not so secret anymore) I use reflective listening practice to help people be mindful.  You know that glazed look some people get when you talk and you know they aren't really "present"?  I like to take that moment and without defining it I like to invite them back into the conversation and the present by simply asking " are you listening"?  Most people say yes even if they were not so then I ask another question "what did you hear me say"?  Ah ha most of the time they can't tell you BUT in that interaction you have brought them back to the present and you now have a chance to either repeat what you said and ask them to recall it back to you or even if you do not choose to repeat it you have done a mindful exercise with them!  

I love technology and use it a great deal for my work and personally but many people (me included at times) miss out on many potentially awesome life moments because we try to check email, FB, twitter and talk to someone all at the same time....not mindful at all.  Our minds are best focused on one thing at a time but this busy, hurry world tries to force us to multi task all the time.  We do not complete anything as successfully as we could if we are doing more than one thing at a time.  We actually get less done by trying to do many things at once.  Another simple mindful technique I like is using a list.  Write down what you need to accomplish, start with the first task.  Complete the first task and mark it off while taking a moment to think about it, what you did, how you feel about it and make is a snapshot moment for you.  Then and only then move on to the second task and do the same thing,  I promise you will get more accomplished.  

Take away tips
1- try the reflective listening trick with a few people and see how it goes.  Also share this with a friend and challenge them to use it with others including you and see what happens.  

2-create at least 3 snapshot moments a day by stopping, looking, listening and feeling and take a mental picture of that event and BAM you have created 3 memorable moments.  You could even start a mindful journal and write them down or create a drawing about them.  Be creative and have fun!

love and light

Jamie

Not everything is good or bad, sometimes is just is

Mindfulness- what is it anyway?  It is a key phrase in mental health, yoga and other fields right now.  It is used in medical fields to manage chronic pain, it is used in mental health for depression, anxiety and other disorders, it is used in addiction and recovery, in other words it is every where but what is it?

That, my dear friend, depends on who you ask.  My definition is that mindfulness is being aware of what is going on in and around you and accepting it without labeling or judging it.  I also like Jon Kabat Zinn's definition "Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way on purpose in the present moment, without judgement"  If you have not heard of him Jon Kabat-Zinn is a famous teacher of mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts where the program has been active for over 30 years.  It is a fabulous program that I am fortunate to have been able to complete and a goal of mine is to one day be a certified MBSR teacher.  That certification by its very nature of being mindful is a long journey and process that is a joy to be undergoing.

In life, most of us, live in the past or the future.  We spend amazing amounts of time analyzing the past.  We review in detail what we did or said, what we wish we had done or said, regretting actions or events or wishing we we had done something we didn't do.  When we aren't living in the past we are in the future.  We are planning, we are imagining often in great detail every possible outcome or event that we could encounter and often feel compelled to play out every possible ending and how we would react and feel if this or that happened.  Guess what?  It usually never happens in the way or ways we imagine it.  If by chance it does happen the way you imagined is it helpful or does it serve us in anyway to live the event more than the one time it actually occurs?  I say NO!  How often does this happen though?  We live and re live past and future events and when we do we put our bodies through the exact same physical reaction as if it is happening over and over and over.  Our bodies go into a stress reaction.  We jump to fight, flight or freeze reaction involuntarily and our heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, adrenaline gets going and all sorts of physical reactions that are needed IF our lives are in danger and we have a bear chasing us.  The reaction is not needed if the phone rings, we are late to a meeting or have an argument with a partner or friend yet this is what we have conditioned our bodies to do.  I always try to ask of myself and others around me "does that serve you in positive way" and if the answer is no then lets try to change it.  Most of the time the present moment, the right now is ok.  Most of the time right where you are and what you are doing is ok it is the fear of future or regret of past that creates depression  and anxiety.  If we practice and achieve being present in the here and now and being mindful, we are safe and can avoid many of the unneeded and unwanted emotions and fears we experience.  This is a touch on what mindfulness is and can do for you.  I look forward to sharing much more.  I want to give you something to try at home to begin putting this into action to living your true authentic life as the real you.

Take away tip:  Try these at home as  beginning mindfulness exercises.

1- Set a timer for one minute.  Close your eyes and listen, just listen and nothing else.  After the timer goes off write down every sound you heard, all noises big or small.

2- Set a timer for one minute.  Look around the room you are in, just look and nothing else.  After the timer goes off close your eyes and name verbally all the things you saw in the room and ask someone to them down for you.

3- Set a time for one minute.  Close your eyes and feel, just feel and nothing else.  Notice how your body feels inside, notice the feel of the floor on your feet, the seat you are sitting on, the air in the room, the sensation of breathing in and out.   After the timer goes off write down everything you felt.

Then take another moment or two to look, listen and feel and see if you are able to observe anything you missed the first time.  Start noticing what you hear, see and feel everywhere you go, it is interesting to take a notebook and write some observations down so you can compare the changes as you practice more.  Have fun with it.  We are here to experience so experience and really be present with the experience.  Don't label, don't judge.  It does not have to be good or bad, some things just are, just notice, be aware, be mindful and this is the start of the journey of MORE.

love and light

Jamie

Where to start

Happy day to you!

I am so glad you came back.  I cannot express how excited I am about our journey.  Where to start?  I have so many things that need to be touched on and shared that it is a bit overwhelming (in a great way) to decide where to begin.  This is a mental health blog for my therapy practice but it is so much more than that as well.  It is my living and breathing intention in progress.  My career as a mental health therapist has led me to places I never expected to be but so has my personal life and once again I am thrilled to combine the two.  The interests that I have developed in my life fit perfectly into my therapy practice which makes sense as it is the place I am destined to be and destined to share.

So, let's get an overview to start with.  In no particular order or rank the following topics draw me in and I find them perfect compliments to a full life and a holistic therapy practice.  They also will, at some point or another, be a topic here on my blog.  Mindfulness, yoga, meditation, essential oils for healing, chakras, positive energy and self talk, self care, teaching, body/mind/spirit techniques, the concept of holding trauma in our physical bodies and how to release that in order to heal.  More you ask?  Ok more- the necessity to let out your thoughts and feelings to avoid becomng toxic from the trauma and stress, setting intentions in life, connectedness to others, reading and numerous books I love and recommend, the importance of journaling, blogging or otherwise getting your thoughts in written form.  Yes, in fact there is more, facing and defeating our own personal demons with mindfulness and meditation, mindful recovery from addictions, mindful everything, creating programs for people who want to learn to meditate and be mindful and more but that is a good start!

It is my intention to take each topic and share, educate and help you to incorporate it into your life.  Please interact and comment, ask questions and get connected.  Take what resonates with you, share it and get others involved.  Let's spread the joy and love  I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me.

Until I get more input I will start with mindfulness and meditation.  They are interconnected in so many ways.  I am obsessed with both concepts.  For me it is like the chicken and the egg; which came first?  For me it is hard to say.  The joyful part is that it doesn't matter because I have discovered them both.  Now discovering and using are two different things.  I want to teach and talk and discuss but most importantly give you all very tangible tips and ways to incorporate these into your daily life so that you discover the life changing impact that they have if you allow it.  Allowing is oh so important in life, stop the resistance and allow the joy.

Next blog post will start with a basic Q and A about what mindfulness is.  Please join me.

love and light

Jamie