Radical Self-Care Therapist Style

Welcome back to my Radical Self-Care series- working on creating my R.E.A.L. self-care program so stay tuned.   I asked some awesome psychotherapists and others in helping professions what their daily self-care routine is and got an amazing array of answers.  Thank you all so much for helping me out with this.  As therapists we tend to give a lot of energy away to others and it is of utmost importance that we take care of ourselves.  Check out what these awesome clinicians do for self-care and also check out their websites and what they do!    

Stephanie Devereux   I would say I struggle to get time for self-care daily as I have little ones. But I try to go to the gym, listen to music and "disconnect" from TV & internet, and I practice deep breathing nearly every day.

Bethany Raab  I read something that isn't related to work and doesn't come from the internet. Usually a book, but sometimes a magazine. Helps get my mind onto something different. Exercise is also a big part of my self-care routine!

Molly Merson  I just love being in nature. We are fortunate to have some wilderness areas quite nearby in the East Bay, but even if I only have about 20 minutes, I can find connection in a park or even in the neighborhoods walking past people's gardens. If you give nature a moment to connect with you, it can offer so much more room to hold difficult emotions and ground spiraling thoughts than is possible to do on your own. I walk slowly, purposefully, and let my mind wander. I breathe deeply and regularly, noticing my breath, and noticing the way the light is on the grasses and leaves, the smell of the trees and the air, how the wind, sun, rain feel on my skin, and in about 10 minutes I feel pretty recharged. Plus, it's free!

Helen Chalmers, LPC  I tend to be an introvert (gaining energy/recharging from being alone), so if I have a bunch of clients on one day, say, more than four or five, I will usually keep to myself that evening. I have spent all my listening-and-being-engaged energy for the day. I also don't schedule more than one day like this a week, so I don't have them back to back.

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW  Each day, I listen to music and journal. Music helps release whatever stress accumulated during the day and journaling helps me get my thoughts sorted and out of my head. Both techniques help me unravel the clutter of the day so I can have free space to create and grow the next day.

Jessica Fowler, LCSW  I think of self-care as two levels. My base is the necessities. Daily I make sure I get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise (a few times a week). When I do those things, I am able to do the things that bring me more joy. Other things I do for self-care daily include reading (even if just for a few minutes), deep breathing, praying and sitting in silence (with little kids you learn to seek out silence!).

Mark Loewen, LPC  I make a point of not checking my work email from home. As a self-employed clinician, it is hard to keep professional and personal schedules separate. I also try not to respond to -or make- work phone calls from home. When I am at work, I take 30 minutes for lunch where I am not working at the same time. I take some time to read articles or text with friends. In between sessions, I take one minute to take a few deep breaths and settle into the here and now, setting an intention to be present with my next client.

Michelle Tapia  I take my dogs to an off-leash dog park 2-3 times a week because their mental health is tied to my mental health. The other days they get neighborhood walks. It is good for them and it is good for me.

Diann Wingert  I start my day with at least 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation on the Headspace app

Megan Bearce  For me it’s going on Facebook which sounds weird at first but I try to fill my feed with inspirational pages like A Mighty Girl and Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls.  They share uplifting stories especially about the cool things women and girls have done or are doing. We also have friends and family scattered across the US so it’s an easy way for me to stay connected with them.  Our profession can be isolating and stressful and this is a quick, easy way for me to feel less so.  Weekly- I get to a yoga class. Monthly- I get a massage.

Kim McLaghlin, LMFT  Self-care question- I have been meditating most every day for the past 8 months. I do it at no particular time and it is a quick 5-10 minutes. It is immensely helpful and when I took the pressure off of it having to be 30 minutes in the morning (like "they" recommend) I have been able to do it most days.

Nellie Narsia  For me I always have to be outside and to feel connected to nature, sometimes just standing on the ground and feeling myself connected to it all allows me to be able to be present with my clients! I love to journal, and it write poetry, poetry truly connects me with my soul and it is very healing to me! I love bubble bath, and love pink Floyd!
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Life Lesson by Rumi-

25 life changing lessons everyone can learn from Rumi

Life lesson one

February 18, 2015 we had a super moon/black moon on the same day and my energy was buzzy all day.  I don’t know that buzzy is an actual word but being it is the only way to describe how I felt- I am making it one.  So it was buzzy day- a bit disconcerting but mainly a good sort of buzzy (FYI I don’t drink so don’t mistake it for being buzzed)!   That evening at around 8:30 or 9:00 I ran across a post with a Rumi article.  Well- I have to read that of course.  In case you are not familiar with him please read about who Rumi was.  Wow!  I got to number three of “25 life changing lessons everyone can learn from Rumi” and forced myself to stop.  It was apparent that this was going to be a life changing read for me and I wanted to savor it slowly and really live it.  My first thought was “blog series” so here we go with blog number one.

1-Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion

“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.” Rumi

We are all born with potential, worth and value.  Yes- I fully agree and so do many other authors, researchers, therapists, yogi’s, healers and teachers I know and trust.  Just last night I watched a self-esteem you tube video of Pia Mellody and in this video I loved the way she defined all aspects of self-esteem.  However, a few points really hit home she stated “self-esteem is a constant and you either have it or you don’t but you can get it if you don’t have it.  She states the differences in people never effect one’s inherent worth- they don’t make you more than or less than anyone else.  Self-esteem is based on the fact you are valuable because you exist -you came here with all the value you need and self-esteem is born from the thought that I matter just as I am”.  I wish everyone who has any doubt that they matter would write in red lipstick on your mirror “I matter, just as I am”.  In one of my latest posts I reference several other articles that agree that we are enough.  We already are, just as we are, enough.  We have wings- how can we learn to use them and fly.  Stop acting so small you are the universe in motion so live and dream and be big and know you are enough

“You sit here for days saying, this is strange business. You’re the strange business. You have the energy of the sun in you, but you keep knotting it up at the base of your spine. You’re some weird kind of gold that wants to stay melted in the furnace, so you won’t have to become coins.”   Rumi    

We do that, don’t we?  We sit around and talk and observe how odd life is.  I have asked that a number of times “isn’t life weird”?  I bet you have too.  Rumi here (in my interpretation) is saying that we have it all- we are the energy, we are of the sun and we can do and be anything we choose to be.  However, we go back to playing small.  We are taught sometimes to play small, be small- we are taught often by others opinions that we are not capable of doing the things we want to do.  We are stopped by fear- fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not meeting others expectations.  So we allow fear to cause us hold on to all that amazing energy we have and stay small- why?  More important than why is what can we do about it?  Every day people succeed in big ways Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey and many more.  We can do it too- we have it within us.  Yes- you too, you have what you need.

“Why should I stay at the bottom of a well when a strong rope is in my hand?” Rumi

It is easy to get “stuck” and feel like we can’t move, or change jobs, or end relationships or any number of things we want to end or change in some way.  I found this article sums up really well why we often don’t make changes.  Once again- it comes back to fear.  Fear of the unknown, or what may happen or what others may think of us.  Let me share a personal ongoing story of my life- I do a great deal of things. I always have a new project, a new idea, new job option or something that I am in the process of working on, exploring or learning.  I love that about me!  I love to learn and do and be more.  I get a lot of “why are you doing that”?    I also get a great deal of “that is a great idea or I love the way you think outside the box”.  That is how I work- tell me I can’t do something and I will do my best to find a way to prove you wrong.  This can work to my own detriment at times but more often than not it rocks and I find ways to do things that seemed unlikely to be possible.  I get this as well “well- you are stronger than me, I couldn’t do that or you are just different”. Guess what people?  I am not different, I do not possess anything that others do not possess except that I make the choice to go after what I want and need. I take action, I grab the strong rope at the bottom of the well and pull myself up”!   You can too- I promise- no magic powers over here.

 “Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape.” Rumi

Become the sky- what is the sky?  Noun: sky; plural noun: skies the region of the atmosphere and outer space seen from the earth. "Hundreds of stars shining in the sky".  

I like the way that sounds…hundreds of stars…I want to become a star in the sky.  I don’t need to be a famous movie star or other popular traditional type of star, but a star in the sky- that I would like.  How about you?  A shining star sounds like an amazing and awe inspiring experience.

 Escape from yourself- get out of your own way.  Every morning you wake up is another chance for you to do or to be something different. It may be expressing a new idea, developing a new approach, or simply creating another perspective.  You weren’t born knowing how to do everything you do now. You learned without the consideration of limitations.  Bam!  You stopped dreaming and planning and doing! And there lies the problem. Get out of your own way and be big, dream, imagine, accomplish!  Go after what you want!  It’s there for you to claim but you have to do it. 

 “Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” Rumi

 Take home tip- YOU take this last quote and write a manuscript of a divine letter to YOU!  You take the time in an act of radical self-care to write to you how amazing you are!  I would love it if you would share the entire letter or a part of it in the comments! 

“Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” Rumi

Be you...wonderful, beautiful YOU

Welcome back- I hope that this day finds you well.  I am sure that you all like me have some days that are better than others.  Do you ever stop to think about why?  There is the obvious that we sometimes feel better than others, things go our way more some days than others and so forth.  

Authenticity

There is more to it than that though.  I find days when I am able to show up and be authentic, be me and be real it is a better day. “Authenticity is actually a collection of choices, choices that we make every day. It's the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen” by Brene' Brown.  Those days when I am not overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings that I have to do and be more than I am, I feel better, I am better.  These feelings of not enough and needing to do more are generally self-imposed by many of us. 

Can you relate to that?  

We all do so much, we push to achieve, search for more and go after more.  Most days I am all about more and want to do and be more.  However there some days it feels like it is too much.  Those are days that I wonder why I push myself to go and search and create more when I am already enough.  You are already enough.  I believe as the previous article says we already have it all.  I know wholeheartedly that what you need is already there within you and that all you have to do is learn how to access it.   Do you ever feel that urgency to do too much?  I do, it is a struggle for me to keep the balance between achieving and succeeding and pushing for too much.  It is this, this need to take on everything and prove I can do it all at times that led me to reach out for a  solution, a something to help calm the monkey’s that jump around in my head that led me to yoga and mindfulness and meditation.  The relief and calmness that these practices can give me when I practice them now leads me to want to spread the practice.  If these practices can help the monkeys pouncing in my brain and in my head pass out then they can help you too.  This is why my mission is to share these ideas and if I can teach a few people and they teach a few people and so forth…we spread the wealth in so many ways.

Climb off the hamster wheel

Do you every feel like a hamster on a wheel running and running and never getting anywhere?  Mindfulness can help you down off the wheel.  The ability to learn to observe, without judging what is then you obtain the power of slowing down and learning slowly to just be and that you are enough.   We do not have to react to everything that happens. We do not have to get involved in stories that are not our own.  We do not have to be superman or wonder woman.  We just have to be ourselves and in fact that is the only thing we can be.  We owe it to ourselves to be the best version of us and to realize that some days the best version of us is tired and that is perfectly acceptable.  We can learn to love our perfectly imperfect selves as we are.  I will leave you with a lyric from song by Pink “I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes”. I love that line and it is a truth in life I find that keeps me strong.

Take away tip - I invite you to listen to you, listen to the answer to the question that is already there within you.  Listen to how to be authentic and real and show up every day and honor who you are.  Embrace the perfect imperfect person you are and “learn to be brave in your beautiful mistakes”.

Not everything is good or bad, sometimes is just is

Mindfulness- what is it anyway?  It is a key phrase in mental health, yoga and other fields right now.  It is used in medical fields to manage chronic pain, it is used in mental health for depression, anxiety and other disorders, it is used in addiction and recovery, in other words it is every where but what is it?

That, my dear friend, depends on who you ask.  My definition is that mindfulness is being aware of what is going on in and around you and accepting it without labeling or judging it.  I also like Jon Kabat Zinn's definition "Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way on purpose in the present moment, without judgement"  If you have not heard of him Jon Kabat-Zinn is a famous teacher of mindfulness meditation and the founder of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) at the University of Massachusetts where the program has been active for over 30 years.  It is a fabulous program that I am fortunate to have been able to complete and a goal of mine is to one day be a certified MBSR teacher.  That certification by its very nature of being mindful is a long journey and process that is a joy to be undergoing.

In life, most of us, live in the past or the future.  We spend amazing amounts of time analyzing the past.  We review in detail what we did or said, what we wish we had done or said, regretting actions or events or wishing we we had done something we didn't do.  When we aren't living in the past we are in the future.  We are planning, we are imagining often in great detail every possible outcome or event that we could encounter and often feel compelled to play out every possible ending and how we would react and feel if this or that happened.  Guess what?  It usually never happens in the way or ways we imagine it.  If by chance it does happen the way you imagined is it helpful or does it serve us in anyway to live the event more than the one time it actually occurs?  I say NO!  How often does this happen though?  We live and re live past and future events and when we do we put our bodies through the exact same physical reaction as if it is happening over and over and over.  Our bodies go into a stress reaction.  We jump to fight, flight or freeze reaction involuntarily and our heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, adrenaline gets going and all sorts of physical reactions that are needed IF our lives are in danger and we have a bear chasing us.  The reaction is not needed if the phone rings, we are late to a meeting or have an argument with a partner or friend yet this is what we have conditioned our bodies to do.  I always try to ask of myself and others around me "does that serve you in positive way" and if the answer is no then lets try to change it.  Most of the time the present moment, the right now is ok.  Most of the time right where you are and what you are doing is ok it is the fear of future or regret of past that creates depression  and anxiety.  If we practice and achieve being present in the here and now and being mindful, we are safe and can avoid many of the unneeded and unwanted emotions and fears we experience.  This is a touch on what mindfulness is and can do for you.  I look forward to sharing much more.  I want to give you something to try at home to begin putting this into action to living your true authentic life as the real you.

Take away tip:  Try these at home as  beginning mindfulness exercises.

1- Set a timer for one minute.  Close your eyes and listen, just listen and nothing else.  After the timer goes off write down every sound you heard, all noises big or small.

2- Set a timer for one minute.  Look around the room you are in, just look and nothing else.  After the timer goes off close your eyes and name verbally all the things you saw in the room and ask someone to them down for you.

3- Set a time for one minute.  Close your eyes and feel, just feel and nothing else.  Notice how your body feels inside, notice the feel of the floor on your feet, the seat you are sitting on, the air in the room, the sensation of breathing in and out.   After the timer goes off write down everything you felt.

Then take another moment or two to look, listen and feel and see if you are able to observe anything you missed the first time.  Start noticing what you hear, see and feel everywhere you go, it is interesting to take a notebook and write some observations down so you can compare the changes as you practice more.  Have fun with it.  We are here to experience so experience and really be present with the experience.  Don't label, don't judge.  It does not have to be good or bad, some things just are, just notice, be aware, be mindful and this is the start of the journey of MORE.

love and light

Jamie

Where to start

Happy day to you!

I am so glad you came back.  I cannot express how excited I am about our journey.  Where to start?  I have so many things that need to be touched on and shared that it is a bit overwhelming (in a great way) to decide where to begin.  This is a mental health blog for my therapy practice but it is so much more than that as well.  It is my living and breathing intention in progress.  My career as a mental health therapist has led me to places I never expected to be but so has my personal life and once again I am thrilled to combine the two.  The interests that I have developed in my life fit perfectly into my therapy practice which makes sense as it is the place I am destined to be and destined to share.

So, let's get an overview to start with.  In no particular order or rank the following topics draw me in and I find them perfect compliments to a full life and a holistic therapy practice.  They also will, at some point or another, be a topic here on my blog.  Mindfulness, yoga, meditation, essential oils for healing, chakras, positive energy and self talk, self care, teaching, body/mind/spirit techniques, the concept of holding trauma in our physical bodies and how to release that in order to heal.  More you ask?  Ok more- the necessity to let out your thoughts and feelings to avoid becomng toxic from the trauma and stress, setting intentions in life, connectedness to others, reading and numerous books I love and recommend, the importance of journaling, blogging or otherwise getting your thoughts in written form.  Yes, in fact there is more, facing and defeating our own personal demons with mindfulness and meditation, mindful recovery from addictions, mindful everything, creating programs for people who want to learn to meditate and be mindful and more but that is a good start!

It is my intention to take each topic and share, educate and help you to incorporate it into your life.  Please interact and comment, ask questions and get connected.  Take what resonates with you, share it and get others involved.  Let's spread the joy and love  I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me.

Until I get more input I will start with mindfulness and meditation.  They are interconnected in so many ways.  I am obsessed with both concepts.  For me it is like the chicken and the egg; which came first?  For me it is hard to say.  The joyful part is that it doesn't matter because I have discovered them both.  Now discovering and using are two different things.  I want to teach and talk and discuss but most importantly give you all very tangible tips and ways to incorporate these into your daily life so that you discover the life changing impact that they have if you allow it.  Allowing is oh so important in life, stop the resistance and allow the joy.

Next blog post will start with a basic Q and A about what mindfulness is.  Please join me.

love and light

Jamie

Becoming more, becoming authentically you, creating abundance in 2015

Welcome!  My name is Jamie L. Summers Stacks and I am so excited to be starting new adventures with the new year!  This blog will be a living journal of my journey to do and be MORE.  I am, by trade, a mental health therapist and I love, love, love what I do.  Many years ago I decided I wanted to become a therapist with the noble idea of helping others.  Wow!  I had no idea that over the years I would be so honored and so blessed to learn so much more from the people I am grateful to work with than I could ever hope to teach them.  It has been an awe inspiring experience that grows more and more every single year.  The very nature of me and of any professional who wants to do the best they can involves ongoing learning.  Learning new techniques, new theories and most important to me new ways to reach people.  Super exciting things like mobile mental health, text programs, online and in person programs in addition to individual and group therapy, teaching and training and educating in as many ways as we can.

My personal life journey too has led me to study and learn new practices and ways of doing and being.  Yoga, mindfulness, meditation and breathing!  These practices hooked me immediately and I felt compelled to read, study and learn everything I could for my own wellbeing.  Let me tell you, when I realized the impact these practices had on me (more in a moment) and that I could marry them with my therapy practice my life's passion was born.  Yoga literally taught me to breathe....how I managed to breathe before yoga I am still not sure.  Mindfulness is such a simple concept of staying present, aware of the now but it is a life long mission that is a joy to chase.  Practice makes perfect they say (whoever they is) so practice I do!  Meditation has been  practiced for thousands of years and is a now highly studied evidence based practice that literally is proven to rewire your brain.  It is not just that I find it an awesome way to live, it just works!!  Breathing sounds so simple until one has experienced anxiety attackts or other unfortunate experiences that impede breathing.   Learning breathing techniques is my favorite coping skill to teach or practice.  Why?  You can breathe anywhere, anytime and not disturb anyone else and it is an awesome regulating tool.  I could go on and on with other joyful techniques that I study and will continue to introduce and learn about.  Essential oils and the healing power they have, healing your own energy and accessing your inner voice that always knows the answer even if we don't like the answer we hear. there is so much to explore.

My intention and goal is to spread and share and teach and educate.  I use these practices in my life and in therapy but I want MORE.  I need to do all I can to spread this passion to far, far more people than I could ever reach in individual therapy.  Therapy is my love and I will continue it but I want to increase and reach more.  I am going to design programs to introduce these practices to businesses, corporations, schools and anywhere else I can get in.  I will do interviews and talk and express my pure joy and excitement to as many as will allow me.  I will create and provide trainings for other mental health professionals, I will create and lead online and face to face programs that will increase the number of people that can be reached.  The more these concepts are shared and taught and introduced the MORE people can live the true authentic lives that they deserve,  I will encourage and beg and otherwise do what is needed to get others who learn these practices to share and teach and educate.  If you all join me in this, in this MORE the world can be a much more sacred and safe place for us all to be and that is the MORE that I am after.

Please join me, please ask questions, make comments, follow along and see where this journey and the year of abundance takes us.  I think we will be amazed.  I am thrilled to be along for the ride and what a ride it is going to be.

Be more, be you, be abundant

love and light
Jamie