Radical Self-Care Therapist Style

Welcome back to my Radical Self-Care series- working on creating my R.E.A.L. self-care program so stay tuned.   I asked some awesome psychotherapists and others in helping professions what their daily self-care routine is and got an amazing array of answers.  Thank you all so much for helping me out with this.  As therapists we tend to give a lot of energy away to others and it is of utmost importance that we take care of ourselves.  Check out what these awesome clinicians do for self-care and also check out their websites and what they do!    

Stephanie Devereux   I would say I struggle to get time for self-care daily as I have little ones. But I try to go to the gym, listen to music and "disconnect" from TV & internet, and I practice deep breathing nearly every day.

Bethany Raab  I read something that isn't related to work and doesn't come from the internet. Usually a book, but sometimes a magazine. Helps get my mind onto something different. Exercise is also a big part of my self-care routine!

Molly Merson  I just love being in nature. We are fortunate to have some wilderness areas quite nearby in the East Bay, but even if I only have about 20 minutes, I can find connection in a park or even in the neighborhoods walking past people's gardens. If you give nature a moment to connect with you, it can offer so much more room to hold difficult emotions and ground spiraling thoughts than is possible to do on your own. I walk slowly, purposefully, and let my mind wander. I breathe deeply and regularly, noticing my breath, and noticing the way the light is on the grasses and leaves, the smell of the trees and the air, how the wind, sun, rain feel on my skin, and in about 10 minutes I feel pretty recharged. Plus, it's free!

Helen Chalmers, LPC  I tend to be an introvert (gaining energy/recharging from being alone), so if I have a bunch of clients on one day, say, more than four or five, I will usually keep to myself that evening. I have spent all my listening-and-being-engaged energy for the day. I also don't schedule more than one day like this a week, so I don't have them back to back.

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW  Each day, I listen to music and journal. Music helps release whatever stress accumulated during the day and journaling helps me get my thoughts sorted and out of my head. Both techniques help me unravel the clutter of the day so I can have free space to create and grow the next day.

Jessica Fowler, LCSW  I think of self-care as two levels. My base is the necessities. Daily I make sure I get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise (a few times a week). When I do those things, I am able to do the things that bring me more joy. Other things I do for self-care daily include reading (even if just for a few minutes), deep breathing, praying and sitting in silence (with little kids you learn to seek out silence!).

Mark Loewen, LPC  I make a point of not checking my work email from home. As a self-employed clinician, it is hard to keep professional and personal schedules separate. I also try not to respond to -or make- work phone calls from home. When I am at work, I take 30 minutes for lunch where I am not working at the same time. I take some time to read articles or text with friends. In between sessions, I take one minute to take a few deep breaths and settle into the here and now, setting an intention to be present with my next client.

Michelle Tapia  I take my dogs to an off-leash dog park 2-3 times a week because their mental health is tied to my mental health. The other days they get neighborhood walks. It is good for them and it is good for me.

Diann Wingert  I start my day with at least 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation on the Headspace app

Megan Bearce  For me it’s going on Facebook which sounds weird at first but I try to fill my feed with inspirational pages like A Mighty Girl and Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls.  They share uplifting stories especially about the cool things women and girls have done or are doing. We also have friends and family scattered across the US so it’s an easy way for me to stay connected with them.  Our profession can be isolating and stressful and this is a quick, easy way for me to feel less so.  Weekly- I get to a yoga class. Monthly- I get a massage.

Kim McLaghlin, LMFT  Self-care question- I have been meditating most every day for the past 8 months. I do it at no particular time and it is a quick 5-10 minutes. It is immensely helpful and when I took the pressure off of it having to be 30 minutes in the morning (like "they" recommend) I have been able to do it most days.

Nellie Narsia  For me I always have to be outside and to feel connected to nature, sometimes just standing on the ground and feeling myself connected to it all allows me to be able to be present with my clients! I love to journal, and it write poetry, poetry truly connects me with my soul and it is very healing to me! I love bubble bath, and love pink Floyd!
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Life Lesson by Rumi-

25 life changing lessons everyone can learn from Rumi

Life lesson one

February 18, 2015 we had a super moon/black moon on the same day and my energy was buzzy all day.  I don’t know that buzzy is an actual word but being it is the only way to describe how I felt- I am making it one.  So it was buzzy day- a bit disconcerting but mainly a good sort of buzzy (FYI I don’t drink so don’t mistake it for being buzzed)!   That evening at around 8:30 or 9:00 I ran across a post with a Rumi article.  Well- I have to read that of course.  In case you are not familiar with him please read about who Rumi was.  Wow!  I got to number three of “25 life changing lessons everyone can learn from Rumi” and forced myself to stop.  It was apparent that this was going to be a life changing read for me and I wanted to savor it slowly and really live it.  My first thought was “blog series” so here we go with blog number one.

1-Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion

“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.” Rumi

We are all born with potential, worth and value.  Yes- I fully agree and so do many other authors, researchers, therapists, yogi’s, healers and teachers I know and trust.  Just last night I watched a self-esteem you tube video of Pia Mellody and in this video I loved the way she defined all aspects of self-esteem.  However, a few points really hit home she stated “self-esteem is a constant and you either have it or you don’t but you can get it if you don’t have it.  She states the differences in people never effect one’s inherent worth- they don’t make you more than or less than anyone else.  Self-esteem is based on the fact you are valuable because you exist -you came here with all the value you need and self-esteem is born from the thought that I matter just as I am”.  I wish everyone who has any doubt that they matter would write in red lipstick on your mirror “I matter, just as I am”.  In one of my latest posts I reference several other articles that agree that we are enough.  We already are, just as we are, enough.  We have wings- how can we learn to use them and fly.  Stop acting so small you are the universe in motion so live and dream and be big and know you are enough

“You sit here for days saying, this is strange business. You’re the strange business. You have the energy of the sun in you, but you keep knotting it up at the base of your spine. You’re some weird kind of gold that wants to stay melted in the furnace, so you won’t have to become coins.”   Rumi    

We do that, don’t we?  We sit around and talk and observe how odd life is.  I have asked that a number of times “isn’t life weird”?  I bet you have too.  Rumi here (in my interpretation) is saying that we have it all- we are the energy, we are of the sun and we can do and be anything we choose to be.  However, we go back to playing small.  We are taught sometimes to play small, be small- we are taught often by others opinions that we are not capable of doing the things we want to do.  We are stopped by fear- fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not meeting others expectations.  So we allow fear to cause us hold on to all that amazing energy we have and stay small- why?  More important than why is what can we do about it?  Every day people succeed in big ways Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey and many more.  We can do it too- we have it within us.  Yes- you too, you have what you need.

“Why should I stay at the bottom of a well when a strong rope is in my hand?” Rumi

It is easy to get “stuck” and feel like we can’t move, or change jobs, or end relationships or any number of things we want to end or change in some way.  I found this article sums up really well why we often don’t make changes.  Once again- it comes back to fear.  Fear of the unknown, or what may happen or what others may think of us.  Let me share a personal ongoing story of my life- I do a great deal of things. I always have a new project, a new idea, new job option or something that I am in the process of working on, exploring or learning.  I love that about me!  I love to learn and do and be more.  I get a lot of “why are you doing that”?    I also get a great deal of “that is a great idea or I love the way you think outside the box”.  That is how I work- tell me I can’t do something and I will do my best to find a way to prove you wrong.  This can work to my own detriment at times but more often than not it rocks and I find ways to do things that seemed unlikely to be possible.  I get this as well “well- you are stronger than me, I couldn’t do that or you are just different”. Guess what people?  I am not different, I do not possess anything that others do not possess except that I make the choice to go after what I want and need. I take action, I grab the strong rope at the bottom of the well and pull myself up”!   You can too- I promise- no magic powers over here.

 “Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape.” Rumi

Become the sky- what is the sky?  Noun: sky; plural noun: skies the region of the atmosphere and outer space seen from the earth. "Hundreds of stars shining in the sky".  

I like the way that sounds…hundreds of stars…I want to become a star in the sky.  I don’t need to be a famous movie star or other popular traditional type of star, but a star in the sky- that I would like.  How about you?  A shining star sounds like an amazing and awe inspiring experience.

 Escape from yourself- get out of your own way.  Every morning you wake up is another chance for you to do or to be something different. It may be expressing a new idea, developing a new approach, or simply creating another perspective.  You weren’t born knowing how to do everything you do now. You learned without the consideration of limitations.  Bam!  You stopped dreaming and planning and doing! And there lies the problem. Get out of your own way and be big, dream, imagine, accomplish!  Go after what you want!  It’s there for you to claim but you have to do it. 

 “Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” Rumi

 Take home tip- YOU take this last quote and write a manuscript of a divine letter to YOU!  You take the time in an act of radical self-care to write to you how amazing you are!  I would love it if you would share the entire letter or a part of it in the comments! 

“Do you know what you are? You are a manuscript of a divine letter. You are a mirror reflecting a noble face. This universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” Rumi

Where to start

Happy day to you!

I am so glad you came back.  I cannot express how excited I am about our journey.  Where to start?  I have so many things that need to be touched on and shared that it is a bit overwhelming (in a great way) to decide where to begin.  This is a mental health blog for my therapy practice but it is so much more than that as well.  It is my living and breathing intention in progress.  My career as a mental health therapist has led me to places I never expected to be but so has my personal life and once again I am thrilled to combine the two.  The interests that I have developed in my life fit perfectly into my therapy practice which makes sense as it is the place I am destined to be and destined to share.

So, let's get an overview to start with.  In no particular order or rank the following topics draw me in and I find them perfect compliments to a full life and a holistic therapy practice.  They also will, at some point or another, be a topic here on my blog.  Mindfulness, yoga, meditation, essential oils for healing, chakras, positive energy and self talk, self care, teaching, body/mind/spirit techniques, the concept of holding trauma in our physical bodies and how to release that in order to heal.  More you ask?  Ok more- the necessity to let out your thoughts and feelings to avoid becomng toxic from the trauma and stress, setting intentions in life, connectedness to others, reading and numerous books I love and recommend, the importance of journaling, blogging or otherwise getting your thoughts in written form.  Yes, in fact there is more, facing and defeating our own personal demons with mindfulness and meditation, mindful recovery from addictions, mindful everything, creating programs for people who want to learn to meditate and be mindful and more but that is a good start!

It is my intention to take each topic and share, educate and help you to incorporate it into your life.  Please interact and comment, ask questions and get connected.  Take what resonates with you, share it and get others involved.  Let's spread the joy and love  I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me.

Until I get more input I will start with mindfulness and meditation.  They are interconnected in so many ways.  I am obsessed with both concepts.  For me it is like the chicken and the egg; which came first?  For me it is hard to say.  The joyful part is that it doesn't matter because I have discovered them both.  Now discovering and using are two different things.  I want to teach and talk and discuss but most importantly give you all very tangible tips and ways to incorporate these into your daily life so that you discover the life changing impact that they have if you allow it.  Allowing is oh so important in life, stop the resistance and allow the joy.

Next blog post will start with a basic Q and A about what mindfulness is.  Please join me.

love and light

Jamie